Tuesday, November 16, 2004

European Lard Crisis

I'm serious. As the article says:

But there is now a national shortage of lard and supermarket shelves are emptying. Notices have begun to appear apologising for the European lard shortage.

There are fears of panic buying in the run-up to Christmas when it is traditionally an ingredient in mince pies and Christmas puddings.

Fears, panic-buying, the not so subtle threat that there'll be no mince pies for Santa on Christmas Eve and poor British families will be forced to put brandy on a hastily substitued Spotted Dick. It is the end of the wooooooooooorld!

But in the madness there is sanity:

Demand in east European countries for cheap cuts of pork has led to a shortage of meat suitable for rendering into lard. New members of the European Union, including Hungary and Poland, are buying within the union to avoid a levy on non-EU imports.

Ahhh, let us now calm ourselves by redirected all our saturated anger at the city that is the centre of our national ire: Brussels. It's all the fault of Europe!

But let us end with a, well, I'd guess you'd call it a fact about lard:

"Not suitable for weirdy vegetarians."

Now excuse me while I have my coronary.

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